Rainbows apologize for angry skies

While I was in Spokane, Haddock and I had lunch at a Jimmy Johns. This was my first time inside the store so I was amused by the funny signs all over. Not only were there funny signs, but there were also some serious ones. The one by our table said "Proper apologies has have three parts: 1.What I did was wrong. 2. I feel bad that I hurt you. 3.How can I make this better." I thought that was a sign a lot of people should see. Many people thing "I'm sorry but..." is acceptable. It's not. The person you're apologizing to will only hear what comes after the "but". Recently I received a blanket apology for the way someone was acting in general. I didn't really know how to respond. Yes the behavior hurt me and it's good that it [the behavior] was acknowledged, but how can it be made better? I don't know.

3pm Christmas Day

"What do you want for your birthday?" This is not an uncommon statement. Everybody hears it once a year. The uncommon part for me is that I hear it as soon as Christmas presents are done being opened.

My birthday is on January 2nd. 8 days after Christmas. In my household there's 3 birthdays in a two week period. First is my sister on December 19th, 6 days later Jesus throws a big party for the world, and then we conclude on the 2nd with me. Also one of my best friends has her birthday on New Years day. Needless to say we're busy partying for two weeks around here.

When I was younger I felt a little jipped that my birthday was a week after Christmas. I always felt like my birthday got lumped in with the 25th. To a certain extent that's true as I still open some of my birthday gifts on Christmas day, although that is more due to the fact that people like to see your face when you open a gift that they got for you. I have only once had a birthday on a school day which can now be appreciated, but then it was annoying. No one ever remembered my birthday. Facebook has since remedied this though.

Now I do not have qualms with my early January birthday. Except when New years day falls on a weekend. Then my birthday is a national holiday and everything is closed. The only problem and it's very minor is I never know what to ask for. I usually get everything that I wanted for Christmas. So I'm asking for help: What do I want for my birthday?

Do Not Pick Up Hitch Hikers

That was a sign along the side of the road as I drove home today. When I saw it I thought to myself "Huh, is that a problem around here?" I saw a man walking by the side of the road and though "Oh, I guess it is." It wasn't until I got home and sat down to write this post that I remembered I was driving by a prison in Connell... Good thing I didn't pick up that nice looking man, huh? 

Today is my sister's 23rd birthday! Happy Birthday Sara! I'm very happy Vancouver again. I'm home and I get to enjoy some quality time with my family which is always fun. The tree is up, the house is decorated, my mom is making my favorite kind of cookies with the help of a special little helper named Samara Marie and my dog is cuddling my foot as I write. Yes, I'm glad to be home after the long, and very foggy, drive from Spokane. 

Speaking of Spokane I feel like the events that transpired after my last post are too exciting to not write about. Thursday: Actually with in minutes of finishing my last post I went to an urgent care because I was experiencing some post-concussive symptoms that my doc told me to watch out for. So I drove off to Urgent care while Haddock was at a play and Vector was at work. I got to urgent care and they sent me to the hospital for a ct scan. So off to Holy Family Hospital I went. Haddock met me there with all of her friends just as they took me back. When the nurse at the reception desk told Haddock she could go back with me she bolted down the hallway screaming "Molly" after me. It was really weird to hear my real name come out of her mouth. They put me in a trauma room so that was kind of scary. Then a nurse who was covering for my nurse came in took all my vitals and asked me some questions. He then informed me that my "much younger and much more attractive" nurse was on his break and would be coming in later. Of course as soon as he said that Nurse Matt walked in. "See, isn't he more attractive?" the other nurse asked me? He wouldn't leave me alone until I told him that he was... After a little bit an imaging tech came to get me for my cat scan. I attempted to get up but she said "You get to ride" When she wheeled me out I said "Is it frowned upon to say 'wheeeeeeeeee!'" so that should give you an idea of what kind of mood I was in. Upon getting back Haddock and I decided to take some pictures: 

 

Oh Hey... I'm in the Hospital

See, Ace? I'm fine...

"Is this going to go on facebook?" No... 

 After taken the first picture Haddock put it on facebook and camp chillins started asking what I did. I told Haddock to make up something ridiculous. The following comments were made: 

Ummmmm 'scuse me guys? Did you really believe I would climb up someone else's inflatable penguin? Anyways, my CT came back clear and I have post-concussive syndrome. So all that means is my brain is a little rattled and I can't have alcohol until I "feel like myself again". In and out. The worst part was I couldn't remember my name when I was being discharged. 

Friday: Haddock and I went ice skating with Goggs and Onee. That was a blast. I didn't fall or vom(it). Normally I wouldn't be concerned about vomiting but nausea is a symptom of post concussive syndrome. Here are some adorable photos of us:

Don't I look so happy to be there?

 

Goggs! You're such a creep!

Saturday: WE GOT TO SEE ACE! We kidnapped ace as soon as we woke up. Then we had breakfast at a place in Cour d'Alene that was featured on Diners, Dives, and Drive Ins! So delicious! After that we wrote snarky comments on some of Ace's momma's students work. Then we headed to Spokane for the Hockey game. Cheifs vs. Winterhawks. Hawks won 8-6. Those are my boys! It was so cool, we sat behind the penalty box! I've never been that close to the ice at a WHL game so that was really exciting.

Such good seats!

Those are my boys!I got made fun of for taking this picture...

We made matching sweaters! Well they made matching sweaters and I made Hawks sweater.

Sunday: Haddock and I spent all day in Starbucks. The Persephone came over and we played Taboo. After Persephone left we stayed up ALL the night (a-wink Haddock) and then today I drove home. Stay tuned for more break updates. I've got some potentially distressing things going on so I'm sure you'll hear about that.

Ridiculously yours, Molly Marie

As free as the wind blows

I'm done for the semester! I was actually done yesterday but I haven't had internet since I'm in Spokane visiting Haddock and Vector. So I am sitting in Starbucks sippin' on a peppermint mocha. Last night Cheez-It got to Haddock and Vector's house and we played a game of Taboo. Vector and I lost. I think mostly we laost because we were laughing too hard. Example: I had the card "laughing" I can't remember what the words I couldn't say were but We were already laughing from the last description I gave so I said "What are you doing right now?" "Annoying you!" was Vector's answer. Ohhhhhh my goodness I couldn't stop laughing long enough to say what am I doing right now. Fortunately I did calm down long enough for her to get it. Another gem was when I guessed brass knuckles instead of engagement ring. Mayhaps I have a bit of an aggressive streak. This morning we got up (I was of course the last one awake) and Haddock offered to make us pancakes. Well, I guess she offered to make Cheez It and me pancakes because Vector doesn't like them and she had already eaten. Then we went to see Jo-Dan at work. We may or may not have wasted an hour and a half of her time. Then Haddock and I went to lunch at Jimmy Johns: The Holy Grail of Sandwhich Shops. Apparently she had never been there. After that we went back to her house and I'm now here because she has had plans with friends for this night for about a month.

Two days until I get to see ACE! I am so excited. It's very hard to have your best friend live 3000 miles away. Fortunately things like the internet and text messages make it possible for us to be in pretty much constant contact. On Saturday we're going to a hockey game. Normally I root for the home team no matter where I am, but this time my home team is playing the Cheifs. So you can bet that I'll be wearing my Winterhawks hat. :) Speaking of Winterhawks, I still haven't sent that letter. And speaking of letters I haven't sent (do you remember when I was talking about not being able to decide if I was going to send one or not?) there is still one addressed to someone sitting on my desk in Pullman. It it ever gets sent it won't be until after Christmas break. I just don't think I'm going to send it ever.

And on that note, I failed my blogging challenge. December was a bad time to issue that...Finals+Christmas Break+Lack of Internet= Bound to fail. See you in a few days probably.

Ridiculously yours, Molly Marie

blog challenge interrupted by finals.

Study study finals finals rant. More later.

And then there were finals

This one is short guys. Today was the last day of classes until January 9th. I saw a friend who I hadn't seen for a while, I went to group dinner and I kidnapped Eleanor, who bought me a Han Solo frozen in carbonate silicone ice cube tray. Needless to say I have a chocolate Han Solo in my freezer right this moment. I have some pretty sweet photos from tonight too. Some of those:

The first Han I made.

"You look like you're evil like 'I'm going to take over the Universe! Go Cougs'"

Driving Eleanor home... Still in my snuggie

Thuggie in my Snuggie

Go Cougs and Winterhawks!

Winterhawks, Cougs, Dinosaurs. Win.

Hipster Makes it Harder

In October I started seeing some flashes of red light in the corner of my eye. No big deal, someone must have been taking a picture in the library for a project. I got up and left because the flashes were bothering me. So I moved to my favorite secret room on campus to continue killing time before my next class. The flashes continued. "Huh maybe I should call Dad about that." I thought to myself. I called my dad and he told me not to worry about it. Two days later he called me and left a voice mail about how this could be serious and I should call my eye doc in Pullman. I got the voice mail after hours and I decided to call the next day. That is until I went temporarily blind in my left eye. I called the eye doc and he asked me to have someone drive me to Clarkston where he lives and has his other office. Eleanor and I were hanging out and I called Jarrod and asked for help. He and Jamie came and got me at my apartment and we were off. Turns out my eye was fine but could be in danger of getting a hole in my retina. So watch out for those symptoms and come back in three weeks for a check up. Two days before my check up, I started having symptoms again. This time Katie took me. She doesn't know how to drive stick shift so I rode shot gun and instructed "clutch" when she needed to shift and I shifted for her. She did great. Same thing with my eye again. So they set an appointment for today.

I don't know if any of you have ever had your eyes checked, but you're not supposed to drive yourself if they're going to dilate your eyes. So once again I asked Jarrod if he would be willing to drive me today. He graciously agreed to take me to my appointment. My eye is fine and the symptoms have stopped so yay for that. Today's post is about the adventure Jarrod and I had. You see Jarrod's car had a flat tire this morning, so when he came to get me we took mine and decided to deal with his after I got my clean bill of health. It took an hour to put on the spare. I'm not sure if the process was helped or hindered by my presence... Probably hindered as all I had to contribute to it was snarky comments and documenting it in photos and a video that I have been expressly forbid from sharing with you. I do however have permission to show you the pictures. So without further ado I give you Jarrod: The man, the myth, the legend.

Hipster Jarrod is excited to change the tire!

This may prove to be more of a challenge than previously expected

I see we have shed the hipster attire 

Ah, this has become easier

I think he was laughing at something snarky

How does the jack work?

Like this!

You can't see it, but this is when it was almost  high enough to get the tire off.

Yes, that took an hour. Mostly because while Jarrod was taking off the flat, the car fell off the jack. So he had to jack it up again so he could take the tire off and put the spare on. I would also like to point out that things went much faster once Jarrod molted his hipster skin. All in all I had a pretty fun day with Jarrod. He still owes me cookies though. Mmm cookies.

Ridiculously yours, Molly Marie

P.S. Did you catch it?

My Name is Molly Shanks, and I Don't Approve of this Message.

It doesn't make sense that I am free to like brownies and I can't drink until I'm 21. Those two are totally connected right? This evening, Rick Perry's new campaign ad was brought to my attention. Take a look for yourself. It's really very offensive to me.

People of same sex orientation serving openly in the military, has absolutely NOTHING to do with prayer in school. Not only that, but the US Constitution explicitly separates church and state. Public schools are the state portion of church and state. Unlike Rick Perry, I have read the Constitution. Even though this ad bothers me, I recognize his right to free speech. 

An Open Letter

Hi there,

I've never written a fan letter before so you'll have to bear with me. The 'how to" guide I've consulted tells me that I'm supposed to tell you the basics about myself. I guess the's to humanize me... My name is Molly, but you knew that if you read the envelope. I'm 19...20... it seems wrong to say I'm 20 when I won't be for another 3 weeks but at the same time I'm not really 19. I'll go ahead and call it 19¹⁹/₂₀ (which does not reduce). I live in Pullman, WA for most of the year but I also call Vancouver, WA home because that's where I grew up.

My handy guide tells me that now I should tell you that I admire your work and what exactly I like about it. This is where the letter becomes two-fold. Yes, you are a hockey player. Not only are you a hockey player but you're a hockey player on my favorite team. So I do really admire that and I try to see a game every time I'm in town.

More than your talent on the ice, which is tremendous by the way. I really admire your writing. I love reading your blog. Every post is either thought provoking or elicits laughter from me, As a stressed out college student who writes her own blog I really appreciate this. I'd like to commend you on breaking the dumb jock stereotype. Anyone who can use the word ineptitude correctly and maintain proper grammar while writing late at night is anything but dumb in my book. So keep up the good work.

Thanks for reading, have a great day, and go Hawks go!

Molly Shanks

Tales from camp

This summer I worked at a Girl Scout camp as a counselor. I pretty much had the best summer of my life. I'm feeling a little bit homesick for camp lately so I thought I'd use this caffeine-driven time frame of wakefulness (there is no antonym for coma in case you were wondering what that jumble of ill-fitting word salad was) to good use and talk about camp! I spent from June 22nd to August 20th working for Camp Four Echoes. It was the best summer of my life so far. I got paid to go to summer camp. I was always the kid who wanted to spend more time at camp, I wish I had been clever enough to hide when my parents came to get me like my boss did when she was a camper.

When I first got to staff training, I had been driving for 3 hours after spending the night at my roommates' house in the Tri-Cities. The night before I had driven 3 and a half hours. We arrived at the girl scout office and met the people we were going be spending then next 8 and a half weeks with. I was scared. I was almost sure I wouldn't fit in with the other staff and I would be that one weird kid every group has. Well turns out that I couldn't hold a candle to some of these guys' weird. I'm looking at you Goggs. As staff training went on the closer we got. That's how I became close with Haddock and Vector. I don't think I got particularly close to anyone else at start of staff training (before we actually moved to camp) because we were all sort of testing the waters with each other. Except for me and Haddock. I think it took us like 4 days to establish we're the same person.

After moving out to camp we were all sleeping in the woods and eating food cooked outside. That really bonds people together. Is that why people go camping? I love camping but some of my friends who for the sake of this post shall remain nameless (I'll give you a hint, his name rhymes with sharrod). And when you have to go for a hike to take a shower... the motivation is not exactly high. Especially when everybody else looks and smells like you. So that really helped with the bonding. Even after staff training I wasn't close with the people that I call "my people" with the exception of Haddock who was in my cabin for the livin' in the woods with no close showers portion of training.

After a short break between training and camp starting we had our first session, and while it was not the worst session of the summer... it was very difficult. I had a camper who choked another, one who wouldn't walk, and one who cried at everything. By the last day were were tired of it. We had about 14 campers and 2 of them refused to go on our last hike. Ace and I decided to stay with the two girls in our unit and ask admin staff for help. During staff training we had established a radio call for if we needed admin help: gator aid. So I got on the radio:
Me: "Sunny to Gem."
Harmony: "Harmony to Sunny what's up?"
Me: "We need some gator aid in singing pines."
Harmony:"Ok let me see what I can do."
I wasn't there for this next part but I'm told this is how it went-
Harmony: I need gator aid for singing pines
Haddock: I don't have any... but I have lemonaid
Harmony got back on the radio-
Harmony: "I can do lemonaid."
Sunny thinking it was a code word: "What's lemonaid?"
Harmony: "It's lemons, and water, and sugar, and you drink it"
Sunny: "I NEED A MEMBER OF ADMIN IN MY UNIT NOW!"
Harmony: "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'll be right there!"

And that was this weeks fun story from camp. As well as my first bonding moment with Ace who is in fact one of "my people". :)

What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BANANANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Sometimes I think as soon as you set out to do something it becomes harder. For example, the other day I set out to blog every day this month. I had already completed a post fr every day in December, albeit it was on the 4th... Anyways I thought it couldn't be too hard to do. Wrong! There's this thing that kicks in when I have pressure to do something. Writers block. I spent 15 minutes staring at the blank new post page... and another 15 in between this sentence because I'm watching the Mike Leach press conference right now. Writer's block sucks guys. I should be writing a paper for my class actually. So I think that's all for now.

Ridiculously yours, Molly Marie

A Very Productive Sunday.

Around 2 I got a text from Jarrod. "Wanna come to resonate today? 5:00" I had mixed feelings about this message. First of all, I had only been awake for a little over an hour and I hadn't left my bed yet. A fairly typical Sunday for me. Second of all, I wasn't sure I wanted to drag myself out of my apartment to listen to a pastor I was unfamiliar with and be in a big room full of people I didn't know. Sometimes it's a struggle to get me to go to things with a room full of people I DO know. After a few minutes of contemplation on what would be the better choice for me to make I sent back "Yes please". After all I wasn't the one who had to drive and I didn't have to sit by myself so giving it a shot couldn't be that bad.

I neglected the book report that's due on Wednesday and wrote some of the book I'm working on. Of course I watched How I met Your Mother while writing. So 4:10 rolled around and I played another episode making it 4:30 before I decided to get ready for Jarrod picking me up at 4:45. Scramble on. I look in the mirror and notice my bangs are sticking straight up. Super. I jammed a headband over my bangs and ran out the door because Jarrod was there.

After stopping for coffee we arrived at the Schweitzer Event Center where Resonate was held for the very last time. I always feel like I'm walking into things at weird times. "Oh this is our last meeting here this is so emotional..." Yeah, I don't have any connection to this, like at all, so I'll just sit here an be awkward. As for the actual service, that was pretty par for the course. Sing a few songs, listen to the speaker, pray, sing a few more songs. Then comes the hardest part for someone who's akin to the socially awkward penguin... Socialization time. I knew Jarrod annnnnd that's it. I followed him like a puppy with him occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure he hadn't lost me. Jarrod knows a lot of people.

I think I'm going to go to Resonate a few more times before I make a judgement call on how I feel about it. Stay tuned for more.

Ridiculously yours, Molly Marie

Challenge Accepted

I've issued myself a challenge for the month of December. I want to write a post every day. I will be writing not just about my day but about whatever provokes my thoughts. Possible topics include:

-Church 

-Dead Week

-Finals Week

-Christmas

-Hockey

-My Best Friends

-A teaser of what I'm working on (if you're lucky)

-Book recommendations

-Familial Relationships

-Laundry

-My Roommates

-My Dependence on Electronics

-Awkward things I do, or my friends do

- Whatever else tickles my fancy

That's all for now. More tomorrow.

Ridiculously yours, Molly Marie

Canada Oh Canada...

When I was 12 my brother and I were visiting family on San Jaun Island. While walking around downtown we noticed the site above. Now, Jake and I had never been to Canada and we still haven't. This didn't stop us from re-writing the first line of their national anthem and continuing in a different tune with other less than flattering things about the nation. I'm not sure where I developed my taste for making jokes about America's "hat" as I call Canada, but I do enjoy a good Canada joke. All of this is in good fun and I actually think a lot of things about Canada are cool. Mostly its favorite sport and the players it produces. Just kidding... kind of.

Anyways, every time I think about Canada I think about that story and how much I love my brother. The bonding moments are far between, but I love them. On thanksgiving we bonded in the fact that we had to spend time with our father's wife. We spent a little time putting together his application to Wazzu; I am SO excited for when he's in Pullman too. After we did that I introduced him to The Oatmeal, specifically the comic on thanksgiving which is hilariously crude. We laughed really hard but of course couldn't share why we were laughing with the family because well, my grandparents are Evangelical Quakers.

Flexing with my brother in Oneonta Gorge

After the actual meal was one of my favorite moments with Jake. I showed him the best of socially awkward penguin. We read through the list and we got to one and I started laughing a little when Jake said "I do that all the time!" I lost it. I couldn't believe my cool little brother did something on a socially awkward penguin meme. I laughed really hard at that. My laughter fueled Jake's laughter. At this point we were laughing loud enough to interrupt the conversation between my dad and grandpa. "What are you two laughing at?" Came from the other side of the room. I looked up to answer and I just kept laughing. I couldn't breathe and the harder I tried to gain my composure to explain the more I laughed. Eventually Jake got a hold of himself and told my dad why I was crying from laughter.

Moral of the story? Laughter and bonding with my brother are some of the best parts of being home. I'm excited to see Jake again in about two weeks.

 Ridiculously yours, Molly Mari

Well, that was embarrassing.

Tonight I got to spend some time with Eleanor which is pretty rad. We went to Denny's on our midnight adventure. Our waiter was named Quinn and he managed to make me blush. I have a very unfortunate habit of playing with my silverware. Well our waiter was clearing our plates and he reached for the knife I was twirling and I guess I just didn't expect it because my hand jumped back as soon as his hand was on the knife. He smiled, laughed and said "Oh, I'm sorry. I could leave it if you still want to play with it." I was so embarrassed! I half laughed at myself and said "Oh no, that's ok" while breaking eye contact with him. He earned himself a generous tip though...

That guy is lucky I'm only passive aggressive.

I have some road rage. If you've ever been in my car, reading this may not surprise you. I'm not an aggressive driver per se, I don't drive too fast (except for when I got that speeding ticket on I-84), I don't cut people off, I don't lay on the horn, and I don't tailgate. I mostly just get mad and shout inappropriate things inside the safety of my car. Unless one of my darling roommates unrolls the window because she has forgotten that I scream unbecoming things at people who I, in my road rage, deem to be less than intelligent in how they are driving, and or are crossing the street. In this particular case there were about four "bros" walking in the middle of my already very narrow residential street with cars parked on either side. I digress...

This morning the road rage started early as Katie, the aforementioned roommate, had asked me on Wednesday if I would drive her to a building on campus to return all of her ROTC gear. I Agreed but told her that it would have to be at 8:30 because I had a quiz at 10. So I got up at 8 in order to wake up a little before driving on campus because both the drivers and the pedestrians are of the opinion that they are invincible, and while I know this is not true, I am still liable if I hit them with my metal death trap. Katie packed up her gear and we were out the door. I was in an extraordinarily good mood considering I was awake an hour and a half earlier than I needed to be and had gotten little sleep. I opened the door of my apartment and took a breath of fresh air, yes it was going to be a good day. Then, I saw it. I saw the car wedged between mine and another. Had he pulled up 5 inches further he would have taken my drivers side mirror off.

I was not happy. At all. My mood had previously been high. I instantly began swearing and then remembered my whole building didn't need to be woken up because of this ass-hat. I kicked his tire and walked around to the passenger side so I could crawl into my seat. To make matters worse because there is a ridiculous curb on my cul de sac (which is not one word but Blogger is telling me it's spelled incorrectly either way...I blame the French) I had to preform a 6 point turn to make it onto the street. So upsetting.

Fortunately, this tale of morning road rage has a hilarious ending. As I mentioned earlier, I'm the kind of driver who keeps a commentary of other drivers, and pedestrians. I came to an intersection on Stadium way and I needed to make a left turn. The driver across Stadium way also needed to make a left turn but I couldn't see his turn signal upon reaching the intersection. I slowly crept forward and saw his turn signal. "Why don't you go while I go?" I said to the handsome driver who could not hear me from across the street and in his own car. We both began to turn. "Good boy." I said when he had done exactly what I had told him to. He must have been able to read lips and had very good eye sight because I earned a very strange look from him. Which of course made me giggle till I got home.

Ridiculously yours, Molly Marie

A day that I didn't wake up for.

I was going to write about not liking being touched, and decided not to. Then I was going to write about avoiding people, once again I decided not to. Instead I will write about my day.

I woke up at 2 pm. FAIL. I even set an alarm. And then I worked on studying until about 4:30 when I took a shower. After I got dressed I did some laundry and contemplated sending a letter I wrote, it's sitting on my desk so that's how that went. Then I picked up Eleanor for cru.

That was the best part of my day. I don't think I've been to cru for a month. It was really nice to see people I haven't seen and of course hear somethings that I probably needed to hear. And of COURSE I got to hang out with ELEANOR! Sorry I got a little excited there.

Surviving my home...

I washed off my make up and I looked in the mirror about 10 minutes ago. I have huge dark circles under my eyes. I'm not surprised, I've been getting about 3-5 hours of sleep every night for over a week. What did surprise me was I haven't noticed them until now... What's different... oh that's right. I've been wearing makeup this week. I'm not against make up or anything I just don't usually wear it. But I have been home for a week. It's not expected of me to wear makeup at home, but it feels like it is.

I feel so inadequate when I go home. My mom and sister are girly girls. The extent of the girly girl in me is my love of high heels and even that is iffy. I'd rather wear tennis shoes and jeans than heels and skirts. I don't like wearing makeup. I always forget I'm wearing it and I wipe it off accidentally... or itch it off accidentally. Eye makeup makes my eyes feel heavy. I don't dress up and I like sports.

That's another reason I don't fit in with my mom and sister. I like sports, so do they... but I'm what we might call an intense fan. I lose my voice whether I'm at the game, watching it, or even following it online. I understand football. I like hockey. I really like hockey. Like, a lot.

So how do I deal with this feeling of inadequacy? I put on some makeup, maybe even wear some earrings... and spend time with my dad.

Thanksgiving Break: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I'm back home in Pullman. It's funny I call two different places home, but in reality I've only spent about 8 weeks of  2011 in Vancouver... Anyways on to the dirt about my break.

The Good:
~I got to see my brother and sister at the same time! That hasn't happened for nearly a year. I really enjoyed my time with my brother and sister. We even got a cute photo out of it.
~I didn't have to cook for myself for 7 whole days! It's the little things in life...
~I got to see a Winterhawks game! I love love love Hockey! It was really fun to go to a WHL game with a real fight where the gloves came off and no one got ejected from the game for it. College hockey just isn't the same. Plus I got a free hat. It's a frat boy hat, but I'm adorable in it anyways.
~I bought some Christmas presents! I don't have much money this year, but I do have enough to get a little something for those people in my life who I am truly thankful for and love dearly.
~I got to see my grandparents. I haven't seen them since April.
~I realized I might have feelings for someone?
~FREEEE FOOOOOOD!

The Bad:
~We lost the Apple Cup. That was upsetting.
~I got in a fight with my Mom. And threatened to leave.
~I got in a tiff with my sister.
~I lost my wallet.
~My windshield has a chip in it.
~I burned myself trying to save my cat from a hot glue gun.
~I realized I might have feelings for someone?

The Ugly:
~I spent Thanksgiving day and Apple Cup day with the dumbest, rudest, most disrespectful woman person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. Talking about your relationship (sex life and all) with my dad before my parents were divorced is not ok. Bitch.

Expletive.

I'm kind of a bitch. Especially when it comes to my family. I just get so frustrated with them and things that are expected of me that I turn on the mega-bitch. I'm kind of like a transformer but when I transform it's not awesome. It's mean and hurtful.

I went to bed at 3 am. On my way up the stairs with my big dog the little dog woke up and started barking. This woke my mom up. I went to bed and was woken up at 9 am by my sister crashing into my brother's drum set which is stored in my room since I moved to Pullman. This didn't actually bother me because there was no expectation that I get up. I just went back to sleep after she left. Then at noon she came in again and informed me that it was noon and I needed to get up. So starts my bad mood. I don't care if it's noon or if it's 8 pm if I'm still sleeping and there's no pressing reason for me to be awake. Let. Me. Sleep. Never wake a sleeping animal right?

So I get up and I'm in a bad mood. How dare they make me get up at the crack of noon. I have also been informed that my niece will be helping me bathe the dogs. Great. Making an already difficult task more taxing. So I give the dogs a bath with the "help" of a 5 year old who gets upset when the dogs shake the water off of themselves and onto her. Then all is good and calm for a little bit I'm still tired and a little grumpy though. And then I notice my keys and wallet are not where I left them. They are instead hanging on the banister. This should not have been a big deal. Except it was. In the 15 years that I lived in my mom's house when something of ours appeared on the stairs or the banister it was my mom's passive aggressive way of telling us to put our stuff in our room.

Upon seeing my wallet and keys on the banister I got really mad. Was it really not ok for me to leave my keys and wallet on the counter? Really? I was genuinely upset. Why wasn't it ok for me to leave things that I need on a regular basis downstairs? I should not have to run up and down the stairs every time I leave the house or come back to it. In the scheme of thing this is not big. But I was mad and I had been practicing my self control with my mother pretty well for 2 days.I lost it. I yelled at my mom about being unreasonable when I myself was being unreasonable. I fight ensued about me treating the house like a hotel and how my mom was cleaning for the apple cup party she was hosting for me. Oh no. I was not going to let her get away with that one. She was the one who wanted to host the apple cup party. Not me. I made a mistake I said "I don't wan't you to host apple cup, you do." My mom focused on the words "I don't want you to host apple cup" I don't know how many times I've said "I don't care who hosts apple cup. I just want to watch it with both parents."

About a month ago, I started making plans over break. My mom said she wanted to be included in my apple cup plans. I said that was fine. Since it's my dad's weekend with my brother I had thought he would host it. That was not my mom's favorite idea because of my dad's wife. She asked if she could host it. That was fine, I didn't care. Well then my sister decided she wanted to come. With Sara comes her in laws and fiance. Again fine by me. Except now my mom is on a crazy cleaning binge because people are coming over. Okay... except I didn't come home to clean.

I know I'm being selfish. I just don't want to come home and clean up after other people. I haven't been home for more than a weekend since may. I haven't been home for more than 6 weeks since over a year ago. There is no way that that mess is mine. I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen and family room in may. And then, I left until now. It makes me so mad that I'm not allowed to keep anything downstairs. If you want me to spend all my time in my room, that's fine. I'm gonna spend time where my stuff is. So if you don't want me downstairs and spending time with you don't let me keep anything down there. Yepp, I'm a bitch.

Awesome People. Part 2

I would like to introduce you to a couple more awesome people in my life.

Sarah Welker is know to Camp Four Echoes as Goggles. I call her Goggs (and when I'm not paying attention to how I type "Googs"). Goggs is a really cool girl, she's a freshman at North Idaho College in Cour d'Alene. She randomly sends me messages telling me she loves and misses me even though we don't end up talking often because she is in HIGH demand! I once calculated how many seconds it had been since we talked. It was a ridiculously high number... but I digress. Goggs was there for me at camp when I was having a really hard day. On this particular day I was very very angry about something. So angry that I threw up from rage. Goggs who had been awake for 24 hours told me to go take a nap and she would take my campers. Goggs was willing to deal with six 9th graders (one of them was incredibly annoying)  while she must have been dying of tired, and she was more worried about my peace of mind. That is some love right there.

This is Alina Kay Morse. I call her Haddock unless it's a serious discussion. Haddock is the first person I "met" from Camp Four Echoes. She friend requested me and I ignored it because I had no idea who she was... Turns out she and I are pretty much the same person. I cannot count the times she's said exactly what I was thinking or vice versa. We're both grammar freaks (Nazis as my roommate would call us), we both love hockey, we both love baseball (although I think she enjoys the game and I mostly like the players), the list goes on. One thing about Haddock I really enjoy is that we talk everyday even if it's just a text that says
"we haven't talked today, I miss you" I also love that when one of us has a dream about a wedding the other will ask "what did my dress look like?" We are that cool. Haddock is always there to listen to me whine. She watched a really bad Hockey game with me just so we could see each other. She even came and rescued me from Pullman once.

Black and yellow, black and yellow!... Sorry I got carried away there for a second. Jarrod let Eleanor and me take this photo after Cru last year. I call it his GQ shot because he's all coordinated and such. Anyways... I met Jarrod last January? February maybe. I rode in the same car with him to Cru because he's friends with the girl who drove me. I didn't really know anyone who I rode with but I wanted to go to Cru and I didn't want to walk across campus to get a ride in the same car as Eleanor. So I rode with Caitlyn, and Jamie, and Jarrod. The second week in a row I rode with them, I was invited to stay in Caitlyn and Jamie's room to watch a movie with the three of them. I declined because I was uncomfortable spending more time with them than necessary (I later got over that :p). After trying to talk me into staying Jarrod hugged me goodbye. To this day I'm not sure why I let him or why I hugged him back. I'm not what you would call a "hug person" and I may have just been shocked enough to let him do it. After he hugged me he said something that still sticks with me "See, two weeks ago we didn't know each other, and now we're hugging!" I think a week later Jarrod discovered exactly how jumpy I am and took full advantage of that whenever he saw me and knew I hadn't seen him. Jarrod and I have become closer in the 10 or 11 months that I've known him. I can tell him anything and he is one "my people" meaning I do tell him everything... even if it means he has to interrogate me about my blog to find out the whole truth he always gets it eventually. To quote him "I'm gonna keep [him] around for a long time whether [he] likes it or not."

A night with Jessi and Molly

"I'm not a hipster! I had a cat before it was cool." -Jessi

"My brother said he wanted a fruity blue slush thing...so whatever that is." -Molly to the drive through guy

"I'll kill you if you name your son chadwick."-Molly to Jessi

"Down came the good fairy and she said..."-Jessi

"Queens are wild!"-Molly

"Do I turn here?"-Molly

"Yes."-Jessi

Molly turns

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"-Jessi

"I asked if I should turn there!"-Molly

"I thought you meant should I be in the turn lane..."-Jessi

"Another U-turn for Molly..."-Jessi

To the tune of Hawaii Five-O "I have to goooo pee duh na na na nuuuuuuuh"-Jessi

I'm gonna be- The Proclaimers

Last night I made some mix cds so that I didn't have to listen to Taylor Swift for 7 hours. I mostly just put whatever I struck my fancy while I was watching One Tree Hill and procrastinating packing. The Playlist goes as follows:

• I'll be there for you--The Rembrandts
• Frat Music--Sam Adams
• Pumped Up Kicks-- Foster the People
• I Run to You--Lady Antebellum 
• The Story-- Sarah Ramirez
• Not Over You-- Gavin Degraw
• Winner--Jamie Foxx ft. Justin Timberlake
• Stand--Rascal Flatts
• Say (All I Need)--One Republic
• The Call--Backstreet Boys
• Don't Stop Believing--The Journey
• Bad Day-- Daniel Powter
• I Just Had Sex--The Lonely Island
• Someone Like You--Adele
• I'm Coming Home--Diddy & Dirty Money
• The One That Got Away--Katy Perry
• Coast 2 Coast--Sam Adams
• The Story of Us--Taylor Swift
• Dark Blue--Jack's Mannequin
• And We Danced--Macklemore
• Good Life--One Republic
• Rolling in the Deep--Adele
• Animal--Neon Trees
• Dear Professor-The Deans List
• My Heart Will Go On--Celine Dion
• Bed Intruder Song--Kelly Dodson
• I Want It That Way--Backstreet Boys

Notice a theme? In case you missed it I'll highlight them for you.

I'll be there for you--The Rembrandts

Frat Music--Sam Adams

Pumped Up Kicks-- Foster the People

I Run to You--Lady Antebellum 

The Story-- Sarah Ramirez

Not Over You-- Gavin Degraw

Winner--Jamie Foxx ft. Justin Timberlake

Stand--Rascal Flatts

Say (All I Need)--One Republic

The Call--Backstreet Boys

Don't Stop Believing--The Journey

Bad Day-- Daniel Powter

I Just Had Sex--The Lonely Island

Someone Like You--Adele

I'm Coming Home--Diddy & Dirty Money

The One That Got Away--Katy Perry

Coast 2 Coast--Sam Adams

The Story of Us--Taylor Swift

Dark Blue--Jack's Mannequin

And We Danced--Macklemore

Good Life--One Republic

Rolling in the Deep--Adele

Animal--Neon Trees

Dear Professor-The Deans List

My Heart Will Go On--Celine Dion

Bed Intruder Song--Kelly Dodson

I Want It That Way--Backstreet Boys

The highlighted songs are about love or relationships. Current, past, failed, hopeful, friendly love. This seems to be a motif that keeps appearing in my life. My dreams, my thoughts, articles I've stumbled upon. It's been on my mind.

 "Like when you fall in love with someone, but they forget to love you back." This was in the opening scene to the episode of One Tree Hill I'm currently watching. The line struck a chord with me.

When will I learn?!

My phone rings. It's someone I talk to all the time and end up getting annoyed with 45% of the time I talk to them. I am in a slightly annoyed mood and ways. When I saw it was this person, I thought "ugghhhhh" but I felt obligated to pick up anyways. So I did. "Hi Mom.." What followed was her asking me if I was ready to go. "Yes" "Oh, so you're packed?" "Well, No..." I was then reminded of winter driving tips. Uh oh. Annoyed Molly was growing more annoyed. Does she think I don't read? I'm the queen of researching things like that. THE QUEEN! So instead of just politely saying "yep, I knew that Mom" I snapped about knowing how to drive. The conversation quickly spun out of control and as in all of the conversations that steer this way... "I just want us to be able to have a good relationship Molly." was said by my mother. Super. Make me feel guilty about our relationship. It takes two right? Is it possible that I'm the only thing wrong with our relationship?

I dreamed of you once upon a dream.

I think dreams are cool. Whenever I have a particularly weird or strange dream or one that I can't stop thinking about all day, I tell Eleanor about it. The dream from last night is bugging me so I'm going to post it on here too.

Last night I had a dream that I I took a friend home for Thanksgiving. Not as a friend though. I took him home as my boyfriend which in the dream felt normal. Anyways while we were in Vancouver he proposed. I accepted and then I began planning our wedding and then after we graduated we got married (the wedding was beautiful) and lived happily ever till I woke up.

I couldn't stop thinking about this dream. All. Day. Long. It was driving me nuts. Do you ever have strange dreams that make you sit up and say "What?" when you wake up?

Top 11 things to do instead of cleaning your room

11. Write a blog post about things to do instead of cleaning your room. When creativity strikes you can't ignore it.
10. Tweak your "clean your room" play list. You can't clean your room until you've got the perfect cleaning music can you?
9. Look up the lyrics to the songs on your cleaning your room playlist. You need to be able to sing every single word or you can't focus on cleaning.
8. Talk to your roommates. I can never clean until I've had a heart to heart with my roomies.
7. Text the person who reminds you of the song currently playing on your playlist.
6. Make a list of how you want to decorate your room which you have suddenly realized is very blank.
5. Ponder why you put off cleaning so long and vow to never do it again even though you know you cannot keep this vow.
4. Experiment with new ways to wear your hair even though there's really like 4 things you can do with it.
3. Look up some white boy rap. I do love Sammy Adams
2. Tell your best friend how much you miss her and then plan how you two won't live more than 10 miles apart when you graduate.
1. Complain about cleaning your room.

There's no crying in baseball. Er, Hockey.

Last night some friends and I piled into the car and drove up to Spokane to see the Coug hockey game. I. Love. Hockey. I love seeing them skate, I love how exciting the game is, I love it when they fight, I love it someone gets body checked into the glass in front of me, I love run on sentences... wait what? Since Wazzu has their home hockey in Spokane where my good friend (who happens to also adore hockey) lives in Spokane so she met us for dinner and then we went and watched the game.

When we got to the ice arena we caught the tail end of a Jr. Hockey game. They were soo little it was adorable. We were greeted by fellow Cougs who appeared to be mostly from Farmhouse fraternity. They told us they were sitting by the Huskies' bench (side note I had to just text my hockey nut friend to tell me that it was called a bench, I feel very dumb right now) so they could heckle the players. Nothing wrong with that! We chose to sit on the Coug side next to the penalty box. Those nice farm house boys I mentioned earlier rented out the other rink and invited everyone to come skating during the 2nd period break. I didn't skate because I was afraid of hurting my knee even further, but it was fun to watch my friends skate.

During the 3rd period when the score reached 2-9 Huskies I looked at my friend and she said "Oh my gosh, you're crying." I didn't even notice until she had pointed it out. Does this make me an intense fan or a fragile one?

Watching Marines Cry Makes Me Cry.

I am currently watching Surviving The Cut. It's a show about military special forces schools and how difficult they are. It's nuts these schools are soooooo physically demanding, not only are they physically demanding but they're also mentally tough. The percentage of men who make it through these schools is very low meaning only the best of the best (it takes a lot of work to even make to the school in the first place) make it. When a man who isn't cut out for it drops out or particularly when they are removed from training by the instructors they look so down trodden. Some of them cry.

It's very hard to work hard for something and realize you can't do it. I am currently struggling with "I. Can't. Do. It." What do I want to do with my life? "I don't knowwwwwwwwwwww!" is what I'm screaming at myself. Why does my knee hurt so badly? because of things beyond my control. I'm mad at myself and it's hard. I'm making major life plan changes. I do actually know what I would love to major in and I would have done it if there was any possibility of being able to support myself with a degree in History. I'm now looking at the next best thing: a degree in Social Studies Education. I love history, I love government, I love kids, and the job security as a teacher, while not as good as it is with other degrees, is far superior to a plain History degree. I will keep you posted on how this turns out. I'm going to finish my General Education Requirements next semester and then figure it out. I will probably still be graduating a year after my entering class. Although, sometimes people need more than 4 years to finish an undergrad degree.

I am a backwards sillypants. (Title courtesy of Marissa Langager)

In some ways, I am a paranoid person. I read things my friends have posted online and I fear that they're secretly about me. I had this instance of panic on Sunday night that resulted in me texting a friend and asking him not to cut me out of his life. He actually wasn't planning on cutting anyone out of his life, and if I were thinking clearly instead of in a panic at 2 am I would know that. I'm also paranoid about this blog, I remember in a conversation with Ace two weeks ago about having so many started and unfinished posts because I'm scared of what people will think of them. Ace was kind enough to remind me that this blog is for me and people can read it if they want to.

Awesome People. Part 1

Over the last year I've made many new friends and I wanted to take the opportunity to tell you about them and why I love them.

This is Katie. I met her in September of 2010 and boy am I glad I did. Prior to meeting Katie I didn't have friends at WSU and that was super hard, I was also living with someone who I didn't really like and who certainly didn't like me. I was falling into depression and I realized I needed to do something about it. So, with a little encouragement from my parents, I asked Katie if I could live with her because she didn't have a roommate. She agreed with very little hesitation (I could have been a murderer and she agreed to let me live with her!). Katie and I have had many crazy adventures together. The picture of her to the left was taken at 2 in the morning  after we had built a snowman on her sister's front porch. Katie and I still live together and we also live with her sister Sarah during her last semester. I'm so glad I have this crazy in my life. She once tried to poison me... but that's a different story and in her defense it was a response to me tagging her in photos of underwear models hitting on her that I then posted on our door for anyone who live on the 2nd and 3rd floor to see. 

Some of you may have already read about Eleanor from an earlier post. She's pretty awesome so I feel that it's acceptable to write about her twice. Eleanor is my friend who I tell absolutely everything to. 

Molly: "I'm secretly in love with this kid's writing."

Eleanor: "I know you are."

Molly: "So I already told you that, huh?"

Eleanor: "Yeah, I know everything there is to know about you."

She is of course right. This girl could finish my sentences and often does. She also tells me things that I don't necessarily want to hear but definitely should anyways, and she's always good for a nudge (or falcon punch) in the right direction.

Ace is on my left in the picture. I met Ace (or Marissa, but it's too hard for me to call her that) this summer while working at Girl Scout camp in Northern Idaho. When we first met she thought I was annoying and I didn't know what to expect from her but, I didn't think that we were going to be good friends. We were both wrong. Our first week of working with campers we were in the same unit. Our unit was big enough that we had to split into two smaller units for some of our activities and Ace and I ended up being the two counselors with one half. I think watching one of "your" kids climb up a rock wall when you know she has asthma and might have an attack any second can really bond you. So Ace and I are now good  great friends. She often tells me how rad I am (how could she not?). We have the same wonderfully cynical demeanor, and I talk to her almost every day. I would go so far as to call her my soul sister.

1/7 of the deadly sins

I've been felling the green eyed monster lately for some reason. Here's are the top two types of people I am currently jealous of. [That was quite a few qualifiers, huh?]

1. I am jealous of people who can keep journals. I've tried before. I have tried oh so hard to diligently record everything that happened during my day. Here's the thing though, I would have trouble finding things I would want to record. I felt like most things that I said and did were of no consequence, this resulted in many journal entries that read something like this: "Oh hey, it's me again. Nothing much has really happened." Conversely, if something big did happen, I was afraid someone would read my journal and call me a drama queen. Or if I had a crush on someone I was also terrified someone would read about that and think I was weird for writing about this boy who didn't know I existed. I also may have developed this fear because I once read my sister's diary that was all about a boy she liked.

2. I am jealous of people who have confidence. How cool would it be to walk up to someone and say "Hi, I'm Molly." with a smile and no hint of nervousness in my voice. It would be AWESOME! Wait, hold up right? I can hear your thoughts being beamed to me as you read this: "Molly (or Sunny as some know me), you are NOT a shy person." Anyone who was in marching band with me is certainly thinking this. WRONG! I'm totally shy, most of the time I can fake it though. I almost never introduce myself first. It's a problem, and I'm sure it can lead to having a bubble of friends and not meeting new people, which is a shame because I bet there are some really cool people out there who I have not met yet. Let's fix this, yeah? Yeah.

So... I'm locked out.

I didn't go to Military Science lab because of my knee, who knew that high crawling and 3-5 second rushes are hard to perform with a knee injury? Anyways, here I sit on the concrete in front of my door. Like a creep. Did I mention it's getting dark? Earlier I had better was in the park talking on the phone, but eventually my family and friends things to do than entertain me while I contemplate how silly it was for me to leave the house without making sure that I hadn't removed my keys from my backpack yesterday. When did that happen? I don't remember using them yesterday... Lets see, I left the house at 7:45 am and returned after speaking with my dad on the phone at 8:45ish... Nope, I didn't use them because both of the roomies were home and the door was unlocked. Maybe I didn't put them back in my bag after using them on Monday? No wait I didn't use them on Monday either... Aha! I used them this morning when I grabbed my water bottle out of my car for PT! Whew, I feel way better now that I know why they were out of my bag. Unfortunately my brain was too hopped up on exercise endorphins  to remember that!

Facebook Stalking

Alright, I know what you're thinking. "Molly that's creepy." Don't give me that most of you facebook stalk too. Anyways I prefer the term Investigate. That's what I'm doing, I'm investigating someone to satisfy my curiosity. We can even call it research. Yeah, research. I can imagine myself telling my best friend that I researched someone new I met. Actually those words have probably escaped my mouth. The following are things to consider while facebook stalking:
 1. Where are you? Don't facebook stalk in a public place, unless you want people to judge you. If you must facebook stalk in public (like if you didn't have internet in your apartment for a month...) make sure your back is against a wall and there's no one in the immediate vicinity. This serves two purposes 1. You are less likely to be caught in the act of stalking someone and 2. no one can sneak up on you and scare you because you are too busy focusing intently on your computer screen.
2. Are you facebook friends with the person you are stalking? If you are, this is entirely more acceptable than say finding someone on facebook who you have once met briefly.
3. Now, if you are stalking someone you don't really know, do you know their last name? It can be hard to find someone without a last name. This is where mutual friends come in handy. Looking through a friend's list of friends is a quick way to find the person you're trying to stalk.

And that my friends is how you facebook stalk.

You make me feel like writing.

I don't actually have a focused topic to write about today. So, I suppose if you don't want to read about what's going on in my head stop reading (duh).

I have less than three weeks left of my first semester of my freshman year. Crazy. What's crazier is how much I've changed since my parents and big sister drove away in August. My dad and I were just talking about that. It's amazing how tiny changes in your personality and growth add up to a new person. I like the new me though. I am confident, and I am strong. I have also learned how to make good life choices rather than shake my head and give up until someone bails me out.

So wish me luck as I work on my powerpoint, my 6 papers, and my 3 finals. Lets crank out those A's!

Rewind about Seven Years

Today I woke up and went to the Rec center where I ran two miles. Ok, I'm done bragging. You should know though, it felt AWESOME!

I had an excellent day today. After I woke up and worked out, I took a shower and promptly went back to sleep until it was time to go to class. I only have two classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and they're back to back from 10-12. After class I went to Eleanor's psych class because I really enjoy psychology and wanted to get a sneak preview of Psych 105 which I will be taking in the fall. After this I went to work where I had a smooth and easy day. At 3 I convinced Eleanor to hang out with me some more (it wasn't hard, I'm pretty awesome) and then Amanda came over before we all headed to the dining center for dinner.

Dinner was really the best part of my day. It was like we were back in middle school, we talked about boys. Not only did we talk about boys we looked at them also. I believe in middle school terms we were "boy watching". For those of you who know Amanda, you can imagine what happened. For those of you who don't I will now describe it in great detail so you can use your imagination for the hilarity.  (I suppose now is as good of time as any to tell you that, just like in middle school, we have code names-- I prefer to call them nicknames-- for boys. Really we have them for lots of guys in our lives but if a boy is especially nice, cute, or one of our friends has a crush on him, it's a safe bet that he has a nickname) The first thing that happened was I noticed Bswizzle (yes one of us has a crush on him) getting some water. Amanda had never seen Bswizzle before so I thought she would appreciate my pointing him out. As I was watching the students move through the cashier's line, I said "Hey Manda, Bswizzle is getting water right now" he was the only boy getting water. Instead of calmly looking over to where the water is dispensed Amanda half stands up and says (a lot louder than she meant to) "WHERE!" Of course everyone one at our table turns and looks at this poor boy who may or may not have seen me and the rest of my friends staring at him at this point.

Now not only did we see Bswizzle, but we also saw Whatshisfacenumberone (yes I know verrrrrrry creative name for him) within the next ten minutes. Amanda has seen this boy before but none the less, she wanted to sneak another peak at him. So I suggested she put her tray away so she'd have an excuse to walk by him. Of course following girl code when one gets up at least one more has to go with her. We trudged to the tray return while (less than) casually sneaking glances at him. Everyone seemed to not get caught except for me. A ninja I am not.

All in all, I had fun goofing around and acting like a middle school twit around cute boys. So, when faced with the option of being a complete spaz or playing it cool ask yourself this: 1. Will anyone see you being a complete and utter dork that has an impact on your future? 2. If this is the case, would this person seeing you be your true self (you know I'm right) cause significant damage to your academic, or professional life? 3. If the answer is no, but you're still afraid for personal reasons; do you really want to have a personal life where you can't be yourself?

Attitude is Everything

Yesterday I had lunch with my friends Eleanor and Chelsea. Somehow we got on the topic of having children (I'm secretly convinced that Chelsea, who is getting married this summer, steered the conversation with brain ninja skill) and I told Chelsea of the fact that when I have children I want four boys, and no girls. Chelsea was first shocked by this statement and then told me a story about her fiancé's mom who really wanted a girl, and was upset when she didn't have a girl and now her fiancé feels bad about it. But we're all glad Philip is a boy. She told me this story so that if I did have a girl I would think of Philip and how he felt because Chelsea didn't want my little girl to feel like that. My response to her? "I'm not gonna be upset if I have a girl, I'll take whatever God gives me."

Just for clarification: I'm 19 years old and not dating anyone, let alone pregnant. Talking about having kids and hearing Chelsea's story made me think about other aspects of my life and how I should have the attitude of "I'll be happy with whatever God gives me" so from now on, I'll be trying very hard to look at things with this attitude.

It's like quicksand

I have not been sleeping well. I would like to say it's because I've taken up the attitude that sleep is for underachievers and I have taken the time that I would have used for sleep to do homework and and be productive. Unfortunately this is not the case.

Have you ever known doing something is bad for you, but you do it anyways? And then you're worried about what people will think, making you want to hide it. The fact that you're worried about what people will think to the point that you'll hide it just reaffirms that you shouldn't have been doing it anyways. This dilemma is causing me to lose sleep and have really weird dreams (the other night I lit the school on fire).

Here's the issue. I know it's bad for me but I don't want to stop. And to make it even more complicated, talking to this person doesn't have to be bad for me... but it always turns out that way. So simple solution right? Stop talking to this person. Problem: I don't want to. Why, you ask? I don't know.

So... why am I writing this? To get my thoughts out and possibly get your advice and thoughts at the same time.


Things that have made my day:
Crazy dreams about random band kids that I don't really know. Getting a higher A on my GenEd than I did last time. Talking to my sister who I really miss. Lunch with Chelsea and Eleanor! And I'm sure there's more to come.

My day started with laughter.

This morning I got up and answered the door for Katie's alarm clock and the boy made me laugh. I love to laugh! I crawled back into bed and slept pleasantly until the cadets who were running to a cadence near my dorm woke me up, which I didn't mind because it's actually pretty darn cool. =)

When I finally did get up I went to class and actually enjoyed it, and then I went to my Music class where we reviewed for our quiz on Friday or Monday (we get to choose, I'll probably take it on Monday so that I don't have to kill extra time before work) and then I had a meeting with my English prof. about my research paper. I have a lot of work to do but I love the topic so I will gladly do it.

And then may favorite part of the day was running into 5 friends all in the same spot while walking home and enjoying the sunshine. I'm having a great day and I thought I'd take a moment to write about how lucky and happy I am. I love living in Pullman and as much as I complain about the crazy weather I would rather be living here where it's sunnier and drier than Vancouver, Katie likes to say that I live under the ocean and sometimes it feels like it. Today has been a great day! Further proving my love for Wednesdays!

Camp Camp Camp!

There are 93 days until I leave for camp. I am so excited! Yesterday, I was invited to join the Camp 4 Echoes 2011 Staff page on facebook! I'm so excited and now I'm trying to think of a camp name. I told one of the unit leaders what I thought my camp name could be (Mimi) but she thought campers might be able to guess my name. I was toying with the idea of Sunny because I really like the sun and it describes my cheery disposition! Haha.

Last week was spring break and after a few days at home, I headed up to Kent to hang with Eleanor and meet her family. =) I had a lot of fun up there and before I left her momma gave me a girl scout pillow case to take to camp which inspired this post!

Things I am excited for this week:
Katie comes home today! I get to find out about my history midterm which I'm 90% sure I got an A on. I get to start the last leg of the school year strong (last semester at this point I was considering dropping out). I'm changing my major this week. And I get to see the whole gang again together! Yay!

The weather outside is frightful.

It is 11 degrees below Zero in Pullman right now. It was beautiful today though, while in a meeting I got distracted by the glittery snow in the sunlight. It was amazing, I've never experienced this much snow or weather this cold before and I must say even though it's new and mildly scary (yesterday I was in legitimate danger of being run over by a car I was helping push out of the snow... I can see the headlines now 'WSU student run over by growth group leader on the way to religious meeting') I like it. College is about trying new things and sometimes they scare you...

This week I gave up soda, and tried to limit my sugar intake all together. I was successful! This very much surprised me! I have not had soda since Monday when I decided to really get serious about getting healthy, and I am proud to say I have been substituting dessert and other such items with yogurt! Who woulda thought? Oh, and the only coffee drink I purchased this week was both tall, and skinny and I consumed half of it before throwing it away. Apparently in Kimbrough there is a custodian who stands at the doors and tells you that you are not allowed to eat or drink in classrooms. It worked out to be for my own good anyways. =]

I have also been to the Rec twice this week, (and once more tomorrow) which is more than I went my entire first  semester. I am so happy!