I went to bed at 3 am. On my way up the stairs with my big dog the little dog woke up and started barking. This woke my mom up. I went to bed and was woken up at 9 am by my sister crashing into my brother's drum set which is stored in my room since I moved to Pullman. This didn't actually bother me because there was no expectation that I get up. I just went back to sleep after she left. Then at noon she came in again and informed me that it was noon and I needed to get up. So starts my bad mood. I don't care if it's noon or if it's 8 pm if I'm still sleeping and there's no pressing reason for me to be awake. Let. Me. Sleep. Never wake a sleeping animal right?
So I get up and I'm in a bad mood. How dare they make me get up at the crack of noon. I have also been informed that my niece will be helping me bathe the dogs. Great. Making an already difficult task more taxing. So I give the dogs a bath with the "help" of a 5 year old who gets upset when the dogs shake the water off of themselves and onto her. Then all is good and calm for a little bit I'm still tired and a little grumpy though. And then I notice my keys and wallet are not where I left them. They are instead hanging on the banister. This should not have been a big deal. Except it was. In the 15 years that I lived in my mom's house when something of ours appeared on the stairs or the banister it was my mom's passive aggressive way of telling us to put our stuff in our room.
Upon seeing my wallet and keys on the banister I got really mad. Was it really not ok for me to leave my keys and wallet on the counter? Really? I was genuinely upset. Why wasn't it ok for me to leave things that I need on a regular basis downstairs? I should not have to run up and down the stairs every time I leave the house or come back to it. In the scheme of thing this is not big. But I was mad and I had been practicing my self control with my mother pretty well for 2 days.I lost it. I yelled at my mom about being unreasonable when I myself was being unreasonable. I fight ensued about me treating the house like a hotel and how my mom was cleaning for the apple cup party she was hosting for me. Oh no. I was not going to let her get away with that one. She was the one who wanted to host the apple cup party. Not me. I made a mistake I said "I don't wan't you to host apple cup, you do." My mom focused on the words "I don't want you to host apple cup" I don't know how many times I've said "I don't care who hosts apple cup. I just want to watch it with both parents."
About a month ago, I started making plans over break. My mom said she wanted to be included in my apple cup plans. I said that was fine. Since it's my dad's weekend with my brother I had thought he would host it. That was not my mom's favorite idea because of my dad's wife. She asked if she could host it. That was fine, I didn't care. Well then my sister decided she wanted to come. With Sara comes her in laws and fiance. Again fine by me. Except now my mom is on a crazy cleaning binge because people are coming over. Okay... except I didn't come home to clean.
I know I'm being selfish. I just don't want to come home and clean up after other people. I haven't been home for more than a weekend since may. I haven't been home for more than 6 weeks since over a year ago. There is no way that that mess is mine. I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen and family room in may. And then, I left until now. It makes me so mad that I'm not allowed to keep anything downstairs. If you want me to spend all my time in my room, that's fine. I'm gonna spend time where my stuff is. So if you don't want me downstairs and spending time with you don't let me keep anything down there. Yepp, I'm a bitch.
Yep, you are.
ReplyDelete