I washed off my make up and I looked in the mirror about 10 minutes ago. I have huge dark circles under my eyes. I'm not surprised, I've been getting about 3-5 hours of sleep every night for over a week. What did surprise me was I haven't noticed them until now... What's different... oh that's right. I've been wearing makeup this week. I'm not against make up or anything I just don't usually wear it. But I have been home for a week. It's not expected of me to wear makeup at home, but it feels like it is.
I feel so inadequate when I go home. My mom and sister are girly girls. The extent of the girly girl in me is my love of high heels and even that is iffy. I'd rather wear tennis shoes and jeans than heels and skirts. I don't like wearing makeup. I always forget I'm wearing it and I wipe it off accidentally... or itch it off accidentally. Eye makeup makes my eyes feel heavy. I don't dress up and I like sports.
That's another reason I don't fit in with my mom and sister. I like sports, so do they... but I'm what we might call an intense fan. I lose my voice whether I'm at the game, watching it, or even following it online. I understand football. I like hockey. I really like hockey. Like, a lot.
So how do I deal with this feeling of inadequacy? I put on some makeup, maybe even wear some earrings... and spend time with my dad.
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